As we wrap up the year 2024, there are lessons we learned and challenges we’ve overcome. It’s that time of the year to reflect on the moments and experiences that shaped us and how they can influence the way forward. Here are my nine takeaways for 2024.
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The unmatched joy of a wife’s homecoming
I was reunited with my wife in January, after almost four years of separation. The length of time apart had been a test of resilience and commitment, marked by countless calls and hopes of being together again. There were times I doubted, but I am glad those times were over.
Since her return, life feels complete again. Make no mistake, I had to undo habits I have got used to and adjust to the dynamics of a husband-wife tandem. Four years is a significant slice of our time as a couple, so it was like starting all over again. I have to realign with my role as a partner and assume roles at home while letting her get used to the daily Aussie lifestyle.
She was still less than two years removed from her kidney transplant, but she’s taking things in stride. Of course, this comes with a big caveat that she needs to religiously follow her medication, regular nephrology consultation, and manage her daily workload.
From arriving home to an empty house to seeing the dining table ready for dinner, the difference was night and day. But I also need to play my part in maintaining a harmonious, though not perfect, partnership.
Embrace changes and give up certain things as needed
My wife’s arrival in Sydney has prompted changes in managing time and lifestyle. I’ve identified routines that need adjusting to accommodate our shared priorities.
I gave up time with my long-time choir commitment and shifted to serving the original choral group that had fewer members, and switched to attending Sunday masses at a nearby chapel. This not only enabled her to walk closer from home, but also expanded our social circle as we met new friends from the chapel.
Once my wife returned back to work, I also had to forgo the morning runs and instead help prepare breakfast before she leaves the house.
Giving up something does not necessarily mean giving up your personal joy. Wouldn’t it be better if we enjoyed doing things together? Weekends going for short trips, jointly serving the church community, and doing household work became the routine and the transition has been smooth.
Having said that, I still get to do things I want to do. Go for hikes – even with endless reminders to be watchful of snakes and spiders – and concerts without my wife’s company.
People still care about you even if you fail to communicate with them
I am generally poor at making time to greet people during their birthdays. I would prefer to do so in private or tell someone in person.
In 2020 I almost celebrated my birthday by myself — thanks to someone who spared her time from work and joined me for a quick lunch. But it was a time of pandemic, and a stark contrast with the previous year when I was with friends and family. Yet, friends from near or far never failed to remember me on my birthday. From former Computer Science students at UIC and ex-colleagues to MFC communities in Hong Kong and Sydney, it’s a heartwarming feeling.
This is a reflection I am bound to repeat year after year. As someone who is not gifted with such love language, the hope is that I’d also improve in sharing the gift of affirmation to others.
Habits can easily be broken with lack of motivation
By the time COVID-19 the pandemic kicked in, I developed the habit of going on hikes and running. This was made consistent when I had a running buddy who was also an accountability partner in ensuring such outdoor activity was performed regularly.
It was a great experience running in the parks from Narrabeen to Parramatta while keeping ourselves fit. The accessibility of trails just a stone’s throw away from our homes also made it an easy hobby to maintain.
But when she moved out of her apartment, I struggled to maintain consistency in going for runs. The solo runs felt less exciting, and I found it harder to push myself to hit the trails. It became clear how much her presence had inspired me to stay consistent and disciplined in maintaining this healthy habit.
has become an opportunity to rediscover my inner motivation. While it’s been challenging without a companion, I’m learning to embrace the solitude, set personal goals, and find joy in the journey at my own pace.
Music prevails over drama and how bands thrive despite internal friction
This year I was privileged to watch live concerts of The Goo Goo Dolls, Live, Incubus and Matchbox Twenty. Although I marveled at the talent and the gift of music, I also learned the acrimony and bitter separation among band members.
Internal rift among Live members led to lineup changes. Only Ed Kowalczyk was left from the original lineup who performed onstage as others who joined him to produce the popular albums such as Throwing Copper and Secret Samadhi were fired for legal and financial reasons. The Goo Goo Dolls also let go of its two drummers due to payment disputes and petty reasons.
Even with lineup changes, what we fans remember more profoundly is the lasting impact of a song or two. Regardless of who is on stage, the songs often remain the true stars, which means music outlives the drama that may surround it. The life lesson we can learn from this is that partnerships – bands, couples or other forms — need to embrace compromise to achieve shared success.
Artificial intelligence should help, not eliminate jobs
Working in an industry where strategies and tactics evolve over the years, the introduction of artificial intelligence can further complicate strategies and tactics.
I’ve realised that AI should serve as a tool to enhance productivity and decision-making, not replace jobs. Automating repetitive tasks using AI frees up time for creative strategy and deeper analysis, ultimately adding more value to clients and the business.
Like any other technologies developed, there’s a rational fear of worker displacement and job losses. When the printing press was invented in the 15th century there was an initial fear that jobs of scribes and manuscript copyists would become obsolete. But boy, did they get it wrong. The invention spawned new occupations in the field of education and journalism. The age of personal computers led to growth in demand for IT professionals, software developers, and tech-related positions, and even established entirely new sectors.
I think AI will follow the same wave, and as an evolving technology, a continuous learning and adaptation is necessary to harness its full potential.
Being in a community teaches you to embrace imperfection
I’ve been a member of my current community since I was in Hong Kong. Although it’s everyone’s aim to be true followers of Christ, the community is made up of imperfect individuals. There may be disagreements and conflicts, but they can stem from lack of deeper understanding about others. We belong to one community but we also can come from various backgrounds, perspectives and personalities.
Therefore, as we all acknowledge nobody is perfect, it is important to show compassion, especially those who may challenge us or those who make us uncomfortable. After all, their struggles are part of their journey too. As we encounter folks whose views differ from us, let’s show them what we can control: our response, decision to show empathy, and offer corrections in private as required.
People come to us not only to seek advice but also as a sounding board of their pent up frustrations and release their emotions off their chest. It is said that a good listener is not only someone who hears what is said, but understands the unsaid.
In the community, I realize that my problems are not as big as others, and by listening to their struggles, I gain perspective and find strength in knowing we are all in this together, supporting and uplifting one another. I see this in our usual interactions where I experience sincerity and care from others.
The cost of living crisis will test your self-discipline
Convenience stores in Sydney and other places in Australia often don’t have price tags so buyers often head to the cashier and likely make a purchase even if a small bottle of water costs $5. Such pricing structure kind of legitimizes the concept of shrinkflation among food packaging and price gouging as commonly shared on supermarket subreddits.
As I reviewed my expenses for the year, I found it amazing to not order one single cup of Starbucks, which is quite a turnaround from recent years. I join my colleagues to walk to the coffee shop or lunch takeaways, just so I can compile my step count and choose to bring my lunch box.
Gone were the days I’d hang out with friends and order fancy desserts. I also choose to pick up Doordash and Woolworths supermarket orders instead of paying for delivery. All in an effort to save money. Although cutbacks on spending are obvious, I did not have to give up everything; I just chose to spend less. For example, I canceled my previous Netflix subscription so I can sign up for an ad-supported package at a third of the original price. Ad displays are few and far between so I thought it was a worthy downgrade.
Home cooking is cost-effective, healthier option that that allows for creativity
My wife’s return has made the kitchen a busier part of home. In the past, I am used to eating out, especially knowing that I live alone and I got no dinner prepared when I get home from work. So as a corollary to the previous item, her home cooking saves us so much on food expenses.
But the benefit does not end there. Home-prepared meals are healthier because we are aware that the ingredients are fresh, the amount of salt is just enough, and there’s no additional ingredient that enhances flavour but is also less healthy. She can creatively choose which ingredients to enhance the recipe, and is in control of portion sizes, thereby reducing wastage.
She can easily exclude processed foods or unwanted components and replace expensive ingredients with appropriate substitutes.Buying the ingredients together is also a healthy way to enjoy quality time together.
As we move on to the next year, there are changes, for sure. Let’s just be ready to ride the wave, apply what we’ve learned this year, and be open to embrace new opportunities as they are presented to us.